Three years ago I married the love of my life in Barbados with thirty of our closest friends and family. And for a year leading up to it, I was planning that wedding. The planning process is a wonderful, exciting, exhilarating, mess full of to-do lists, too many hours on pinterest, tracking rsvp’s, and a gazillion decisions to be made. Now you may think that a destination wedding would be easy or even stress-free but that’s not the case. It comes with the exact same highs and lows that planning a local wedding would involve – the only difference is you’re planning it 4000 kilometres away.
I was talking with a friend recently about her wedding planning. She had decided on a venue with her fiancé – spent days visiting locations, comparing quotes, and making sure it fit with their date before making a selection. She had then asked her family what they thought of the location, and they replied saying they didn’t like it and then gave reasons why it wasn’t a good choice. Obviously, my friend was heartbroken knowing her family’s opinion. I remember those moments well. I remember asking someone what they thought about a choice I had made and having them disagree with it. It was too late to change it at that point and I was left second-guessing my plans knowing they’d be unhappy with it. So that leads me to my biggest piece of advice for anyone planning a wedding:
Don’t ask for someone’s opinion if you won’t be ok hearing them disagree with you.
It seems pretty simple and a little bit harsh but it’s something that some brides won’t know until it’s too late. Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful and when there’s so many decisions to be made it’s easy to want everyone to like what you do. But here’s the thing, not everyone will like it. Not everyone will agree with you. And that’s ok! Your family might not like your venue, your mom might hate white roses, or your friend could disagree with your choice not to have a cake-cutting. You can’t control their opinions but you can control how you ask for them. Instead of asking someone “what do you think” about a decision you already made, tell them your plans with confidence and leave it at that. Most people should understand you already decided on it and their opinion isn’t needed at that time – so if they really dislike white roses, they can keep that to themselves.
As hard as it might be to let go of wanting to make everyone happy, you’ll save yourself some heartache and have a better planning experience because of it. And at the end of the day, behind the sheets of invoices, the countless to-dos, or the list of rsvps, is a celebration of your love and relationship. As long as you and your fiancé are planning and making decisions that make you happy, then that’s the only thing that matters.
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And if you’re getting married in 2017 and want someone who has your back throughout it all and who can offer advice and lots of laughs (and wine if necessary) then holler at me! Contact me here.